


The Art of Seducing Your Lineage and Screwing the Timeline (and Sith Plans) Up

by Starly_Studios



Series: CountDisaster² works [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Please don’t examine too closely, Prompt & Inspiration fic, They needed a hug so they get a hug, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:41:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27931681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starly_Studios/pseuds/Starly_Studios
Summary: Obi-Wan: If anyone told me at the beginning of the Clone Wars that I would time travel into the past, end up hooking up with an older version of my former Padawan and the Sith Lord who cut of his hand, who are in a established relationship, and help raise my Master, I would have declared them insane and sent them off to the mind healers for the rest of the war.Obi-Wan, gesturing to Dooku and Anakin naked in bed with him: Well, I guess the Force works in mysterious ways.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Dooku & Qui-Gon Jinn, Dooku/Anakin Skywalker, Dooku/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Dooku/Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker
Series: CountDisaster² works [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2045302
Comments: 40
Kudos: 75
Collections: New SW Canon Server Works





	1. Getting Together

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Dating your great-grandmaster and other ill-advised life decisions](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25953187) by [loosingletters](https://archiveofourown.org/users/loosingletters/pseuds/loosingletters). 



> I... have no excuse. I was the one who coined the ship in the first place on a comment on Discord. I was also the one who made art.
> 
> So this is basically normal Time Travel CountDisaster except Obi-Wan and Ahsoka also time travel to the past the day after Anakin disappears and pop up a few years after Anakin appears and finally has an established relationship with Dooku. Then, Dooku and Anakin seduce Obi-Wan. So OT3.
> 
> The ship name is CountDisaster² (like a Count and two Disasters) for those not on Discord.
> 
> I will probably write smut, and if so, I will write on another work.

“Here... allow me.”

Obi-Wan poured the warm tzai into the cups of the others were holding before pouring himself a portion of the fragrant spice tea.

It had been a year or so after Ahsoka and himself got stranded in the past. Honestly, seeing an Anakin that was less than five years younger than him was disorienting. Even more so when Anakin was dating the person who _cut off his arm._

Anakin would have gotten a long lecture from him about attachment if it wasn’t for the facts that Yoda had given the two lovers his blessing, and that Qui-Gon was just standing _right there._

Obi-Wan almost broke down right there and then.

Since then, they had often gotten together to spend time with each other. Sometimes Obi-Wan was dragged on missions and explorations. Sometimes they simple sat in a diner and ate. Sometimes they spared, making it clear to Dooku that if he ever dared to hurt Anakin, Obi-Wan would drag him to the salle before beating him up in an unfriendly duel.

Obi-Wan made that _very clear._

Unfortunately for him, Obi-Wan’s quarters was being used for a sleepover party hosted by Ahsoka and Qui-Gon, in honour of Micah’s recent knighting, who did not want to use Anakin’s and Dooku’s despite it being the bigger set of rooms made for more people. Most likely due to the hidden dangers and private things Qui-Gon most undoubtedly knows are there but doesn’t know _where._

Fortunately for him, the couple decided to invite him into their living space instead of leaving him to chaperone the Padawans.

So, here he was. Sitting in a comfortable armchair, sharing tea with Anakin and Dooku, the two having invited Obi-Wan to stay for the night in their quarters. 

“Thank you for inviting me in,” Obi-Wan spoke in the awkward silence. 

“Of course, Obi-Wan. We can’t allow you to suffer the presence of more than ten Padawans at a time, can we?” Dooku replied, a small smile on his face as he sipped his tea.

“Suffer?” Obi-Wan gave a snort at that. “Two of those Padawans happen to be ours.”

“Yes indeed, but they are still children nonetheless,” Dooku replied. Anakin gave a half-hearted glare at Dooku for that.

“They grow up so fast, don’t they?” Obi-Wan said. “Qui-Gon is soon to be knighted, right?” 

“Yes. There is nothing much we can teach him anymore,” Anakin responded fondly. “He will make a great Knight, I must say.”

“Hmm. Just as you have, Anakin,” Obi-Wan stated, his voice full of pride and his eyes full of warmth.

“Master?” Anakin stared at Obi-Wan, face of quiet curiosity but eyes of startled shock. Obi-Wan’s heart broke at that. Had he really been so harsh that Anakin doesn’t know that he had been proud of the man Obi-Wan called brother?

“Anakin, you are my pride and joy, who had risen from the depths and excelled despite the challenges faced,” Obi-Wan said softly. “And... and I’m sorry that I never said that.”

Anakin stared blankly at Obi-Wan before finishing his cup of tzai and putting it down on the table with soft thud. He could hear Dooku do the same thing.

“Master...” Anakin whispered as he leaned in. The younger man cradling Obi-Wan face before gently grasping at the hair at the back of his neck. Before he knew it, Anakin met Obi-Wan’s lips in a gentle yet demanding kiss that drew a startled gasp from Obi-Wan.

“Ana—Anakin, what about— _ah!_ ” Obi-Wan sputtered before being cut of by a different mouth nipping his neck. He felt Dooku’s hand gently gripping his thigh as the man licked, nuzzled and sucked at Obi-Wan’s neck and shoulders.

“We’ve wanted to invite you into our relationship for quite a while now,” Anakin murmured against Obi-Wan’s half open pinkish lips. Their eyes met, sky blue looking directly pale turquoise. “Do you want to stop, Master?”

Obi-Wan stared at the Knight in front of him, also registering at the back of his mind the bearded mouth at his neck had stopped, waiting in suspense. Obi-Wan slowly closed his eyes.

“No.”

Obi-Wan could feel Dooku’s smile on his neck as Anakin’s presence shone with love and affection.


	2. Duel of the Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on a prompt by Medaeus
> 
> It’s late at night and Dooku is restless, so they go to a training salle to work it off. Obi-wan (and/or Anakin) notice his absence and go searching for him. They find him practicing Makashi katas with a bit of Ataru. After watching him, Obi-wan challenges him to a friendly duel. It eventually becomes a 2 v 1 match that quickly becomes competitive and full blast. Lots of friendly sass from Obi-wan, Dooku goes into teacher mode (cause he can’t help teach), and Anakin shows off.

_It’s colder_ , was the first thing Anakin noticed with coherent thought in the dead of night.

_Dooku isn’t there_ , was the first thing Anakin noticed as he opens his eyes to an empty left side of the bed.

Anakin shifted slightly with the intention of getting out of bed to find the missing man, before stopping and turning to the man next to him, who was sleeping lightly as usual.

Gently shaking Obi-Wan, whose eyes soon fluttered open, Anakin whispered, “You want to help me find where our lover is?”

Obi-Wan stared at Anakin for a little bit before a small smirk played on his lips.

* * *

Obi-Wan and Anakin found Dooku in the training salle doing katas.

Obi-Wan observed as Dooku went through the jabs and strikes of Makashi, occasionally twirling through the air with the jumps of Ataru. The elegant yet deadly dance creating swirls of blue light from the blade he was holding. Sweat rolled down his neck as Dooku continued moving though the steps.

Eventually, the dance slowed and came to an end, leaving a rather, by the standards of what Dooku usually looked like when he came out of katas, disheveled looking man standing still. He turned around to look at his two spectators before giving them a grin.

“Are you two going to just stand there or..?” Dooku asked loud and clear, the sound echoing through the empty salle.

Obi-Wan looked at Anakin who had just offered a large grin before moving towards the mats with lightsaber in hand. Obi-Wan followed him.

The spars that happened after that were of fun, laughter, sass and showing off. It started with Dooku against Anakin. Then Dooku against himself. Then Anakin and Obi-Wan spared. It soon eventually evolved to matches of two verses one. They discovered that Obi-Wan and Dooku make a natural pair, although the combinations that Anakin and Dooku made were very fatal and it was only through his mastery of Soresu did Obi-Wan manage to pull a draw.

Then finally, they got to a match between Anakin and Obi-Wan against Dooku.

As they took their stances on the mat, Obi-Wan called out, “Are you ready to be beaten, Dooku?”

“Not a chance, Kenobi,” Dooku responded to that with a cocky smirk on his face. 

The three of them bowed and ignited their blades. For a second of anticipation, no one moved. 

The mats shook as they jumped into the duel.

Dooku was being clever, focusing on attacking Anakin causing him to go on the defensive. Meanwhile, Obi-Wan was left to attack. 

The Force was vibrating with joy and battlelust. Obi-Wan, being Obi-Wan, couldn’t help but throw the occasional sassy jibe. Anakin, being Anakin, did a lot more lightsaber twirls than he should. And Dooku, being Dooku, criticised their forms, albeit with a smile.

Then, it all went downhill.

When the battle started to get more heated, the three of them started to become quieter, sending more fatal attacks instead of the ones usually used in a friendly duel.

As Dooku went to make what would have been a killing blow, Obi-Wan was thrown back.

_White vambraces painted with yellow and red. Red lightsaber. A cape of brown flowing. Silver hair. Darkness. Must protect Anakin. Must protect my men. Must kill Dooku. MUST KILL DOOKU. MUST KILL—_

Obi-Wan went into a form combination he never truly had during the Clone Wars as his eyes narrowed in total concentration and his expression turning to that of cold hatred. Using the precision of Makashi, the violence and philosophy of Vapaad, the aerials and agility of Ataru and the force of Djem So, Obi-Wan pushed his attack.

_May your reign of terror end, Count Dooku._

* * *

As Yan went to strike what would have been a ending move, the Force shrieked in alarm.

Dodging to the side, Yan turned to face Obi-Wan as the older man struck. His eyes widened as Obi-Wan continued to make violent and vicious attacks, the pale turquoise eyes turning dark with rage. He struggled to defend the onslaught of attacks made by the man and at that moment, Yan knew.

This wasn’t Obi-Wan, the sassy, fun man who loved to tease and have tea over a conversation. No.

This man was High General Kenobi. The Councilor who got on the Council because of his tactical brilliance. The Master of Soresu. Sithkiller. The man who led armies and men into a galactic battlefield.

Anakin must have realised this too because as Obi-Wan meant to go for a swift and level Sai cha, the blond extinguished his lightsaber and ran directly into his Master, pinning him down. 

“Master please! Get a hold of yourself!” Anakin begged. “We are not on the battlefield! We are not in the Clone Wars! That man isn’t Count Dooku!” 

Obi-Wan froze for a minute as his eyes widened in obvious horror, the Force singing a song of shock. Obi-Wan turned to look at Yan before tears could be seen glistening in them.

Anakin gathered Obi-Wan into an embrace as Yan extinguished his blade and approached the two. Kneeling and joining the two in their hug, Yan tried to exude calm into the Force, rubbing at the back of the sobbing man.

“I—I’m sor— _I’m so sorry_ ,” Obi-Wan croaked out, tears wetting his cheeks. Yan had just gently kissed them.

“Shh... it’s not your fault, my dear,” Yan murmured into Obi-Wan’s ear. “It’s not your fault.”

It never was.


	3. Insecurities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no... I made it sad.

_They were made for each other,_ is one thing that comes to Yan’s mind whenever he observes Obi-Wan and Anakin together. Their bond was, even at first glance, very strong. Be it missions, sparing or simple banter, the connection between the two was clear as day. 

When they spared, it was a thing of beauty. A dance of grace and trust so synchronised that you would think some of the moves were choreographed and staged. The Force would always sing in joy as the two partners duelled on the mats.

When they went on missions, their abilities and strengths completed and complemented each other’s , covering for the other’s weaknesses. They made an effective duo in the field.

When they conversed and bantered, sometimes Yan himself could not even keep up. Sometimes they would finish each other’s sentences, sometimes they would switch between three different languages in a single sentence. Sometimes, the chatter would be one sided, but both would understand the meaning. Sometimes, they didn’t even talk. One look could hold an entire conversation. A single twitch could tell an entire story. 

This connection between them was something that Yan once thought could only exist inside of holodramas. 

Yan feared he was just an extra to them, a third wheel, one who could not begin to connect to them a bond of the caliber of what Anakin and Obi-Wan had done.

* * *

_They were made for each other,_ is one thing that comes to Obi-Wan’s mind whenever he sees Anakin and Dooku together. Obi-Wan could see the clear connection between them, the established trust and love shared.

Despite Obi-Wan having been separated from Anakin for only one day, Obi-Wan knows that Anakin has been separated from Obi-Wan for far longer, around eleven years or so. In that time, Anakin has grown and matured into practically the perfect Jedi. Patient, compassionate, diplomatic, _peaceful._

Obi-Wan can’t help but think that all his maturity was helped by Dooku and his influence. Despite all he has done, Obi-Wan has never managed to reign in and teach Anakin this much. 

Obi-Wan feared that all he would do would be to screw it all up. Disturb the system. Make it all worse.

* * *

_They were made for each other,_ is one thing that comes to Anakin’s mind whenever he sees Dooku and Obi-Wan together. Their conversations on philosophy, politics and more over tea, their ability to speak and argue rings around politicians and convince even the most stubborn of them, their mutual refined tastes and capability of carrying themselves around with noble dignity.

Anakin has many interests, passions and abilities that overlap with Obi-Wan and Dooku’s, but he looks like the odd one out. A trash version of what they are. Both of them are suave, dignified and the epitome of the perfect Jedi. 

Anakin... Anakin was nothing compared to them. Nothing but a disastrous trash fire to their graceful and serene ice. Nothing but a discordant cacophony to their melodious ballad.

Anakin feared that he was not good enough for them. After all, what did they see in a mess like him?

* * *

“Force, look at them! Despite the fact they are friendly and seem fine, anyone who knows them can tell that they like each other!”

“I know, my friend, but they just won’t talk won’t they?”

“At this rate, I think that they will start to think the other dislikes them. Despite his charm, Master Obi-Wan is terrible at expressing feelings. And Master Skywalker is a terrible speaker.”

“Master Dooku tends to bottle things up. Especially feelings.”

“... You know what this means, Padawans?”

“What, Master?”

“Time for a matchmaking scheme.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued... next chapter
> 
> Based on a prompt by Steampunkunicorn
> 
> Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Dooku are mostly happy, but each of them has issues that they are dealing with concerning the relationship and not talking about it with the others.  
> Dooku knows Anakin and Obi-Wan have this past and seem to connect in a way he could only ever dream about. He didn't even know that kind of connection existed outside of holodramas.  
> Obi-Wan is new to the relationship and afraid he isn't good enough. Anakin is even more amazing in the time they had been separated, growing and maturing into a practically perfect Jedi and Obi-Wan can't help but feel like it was Dooku's influence and his being there will eventually screw things up, so he is trying to enjoy it while he can...  
> Anakin, meanwhile, sees how much in common Dooku and Obi-Wan have. Sure, he has interests and passions that overlap with theirs, but Obi-Wan and Dooku *look* like they belong together. They are both suave and fierce and what do they even see in a trashfire like himself?


	4. Matchmaker! Matchmaker!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of last prompt by same person:
> 
> (If we want a comedic bent, we could have Ahsoka and Qui-Gon team up with Jocasta Nu in order to get these dumbasses to *talk* before things blow up in the most dramatic way possible)

Plan A, suggested by Ahsoka, was cliche but simple. Invite the three of them to a diner at the same time.

It didn’t exactly work. Much to the frustration of the matchmakers, Dooku, Obi-Wan and Anakin just sat around in the restaurant enjoying food.

Plan B, drawn up by Qui-Gon, was almost dismissed by the older two Knights, Jocasta and Sifo-Dyas due to its boldness. It involved a room, Force inhibitors, a single bed and locking the three vict— _matchees_ in the room with the Force inhibitors for the night.

It still didn’t work. They just slept there. No intimate and romantic moment nor revealing talk that took place in the night.

~~_(Unknown to Jocasta, Sifo-Dyas, Qui-Gon and Ahsoka, Obi-Wan does know how to tell when a camera is viewing them. Following the agreement to not do anything regarding their current relationship when there is even the slightest chance of it being revealed to the public in a way that is not on their terms, the three of them never engaged in what they would have done_ ~~

Plan C was much more intricate and subtle, having been made up by Jocasta. Obtaining items of romantic and courting nature, they placed various gifts around to the places where they were most found. Where Obi-Wan was, they placed food and flowers. Where Anakin and Dooku were, they left traditional Stewjoni fabric gifts that could only point to one person.

Still nothing.

~~_(The three of them were in the midst of a private courting where they gave their gifts personally. They were confused on why there were courting gifts addressed to them in their partner’s writing in public.)_ ~~

* * *

“Why isn’t anything working?” Ahsoka asked, a slight frown on her face. “They should have gotten together already!”

“Maybe they are more oblivious than we thought,” Qui-Gon voiced out.

“I highly doubt it, young one,” Jocasta replied, shaking her head. “Despite how they act, they are very good at observing and putting the pieces together.”

Sifo-Dyas stared at the three of them before sighing and leaving his seat in the refectory. The Knight approached the three beings in question, who were having a conversation among themselves, taking full advantage of the rather empty state of the hall.

“Hey, my friends!” Sifo-Dyas called out, getting the attention of the three men in their seats.

“I am going to be very direct and succinct here and ask the question that Jocasta and I have been asking,” Sifo-Dyas continued, prompting the interest of Dooku, Obi-Wan and Anakin.

“Are all of you in a relationship yet?”

Jocasta buried her head into her palms and let out a mortified groan. Qui-Gon covered his eyes with his hand as Ahsoka stared at Sifo-Dyas with an expression of shock, awe and embarrassment. The man still stood like nothing was wrong in the galaxy as the three he had just questioned looked at him with blank expressions, occasionally turning to each other or glancing at the people sitting behind Sifo-Dyas.

“We’re in a relationship,” Dooku, Obi-Wan and Anakin declared simultaneously before the auburn haired man added, “We would rather like you and the rest to keep it secret for now until we would like to make it public ourselves.”

Sifo-Dyas was so damn smug as he heard the dismayed sounding cries Jocasta made and the exclamations made by the Padawans.

**Author's Note:**

> Also, I don’t mind prompts, and comments displaying constructive criticism are always appreciated!


End file.
